nmb

–so you walk in, but who said anything about the hats? Nobody said anything about the hats; of this you are adamant. Outcomes were promised, things were said. But what can you really promise? A woman dressed entirely in corduroy promises, she will not tell you the proper way to defuse a bomb made to look like a clock radio. A man who’s sitting down, he promises never to reveal the thing you must do if you find yourself in a room surrounded by hyenas. A thin man drinking through a straw notes that his promise is to never reveal his social-security number. (Never? No, never, he says.) And me? I never promised anything, not about the hats, not about telling you about?

Okay, I confess: this list is intended to replace actual thought. It’s a substitute for a well-constructed argument, it’s a distraction to divert attention away from the lack of substantive ideas. But here it is: my Favorite DeLillo Books

1. Underworld;
   The Names;
   White Noise
2. Americana
3. Libra
4. Mao II
5. Players
6. End Zone
7. Running Dog
8. The Body Artist

There is little rhyme or reason to it. Body Artist is my least favorite DeLillo book, relegating it to the bottom of this wretched excuse for a list, but it’s still good. Running Dog comes next. It’s not spectacular. It’s not epic. How I initially stumbled on DeLillo is, I was reading the dust jacket of a book. It may have been Chuck Palahniuk’s Lullaby, but I wouldn’t bet more than $5 on that. The dust jacket told me that Chuck is the next generation’s DeLillo. I had no idea who DeLillo was. An author, I assumed. For no apparent reason and without any background to guide me, I dove into Running Dog. I liked it. I sought out other books by this ‘DeLillo’ and continued to be pleased by them. And now I am able to fill up space with a list such as this one: my favorite books by DeLillo. So there you have it. Are you distracted yet?

I know it’s going to sound unbelievably cheesy and trite, but I’ve fallen in love with your smile. That thin sliver of spite and bitterness that fluoresces into sudden brilliance under the proper provocation.

I know that’s one of the first things you’re taught, that and the steely glare and the ascerbic laughter (can laughter even be ascerbic?) and the monologue of criminal genius. Those are things you share with all your nefarious brethren. But in you they somehow come together in a combination that can’t be found elsewhere.

I know it’s your own unique brand of affection that you’ll be showing as I’m lowered into the shark-infested waters, bound and (inexplicably) gagged.

• 44n06, 70w13
• 40n11, 76w11
• 40n34, 78w03
• 40n48, 77w52
• 40n11, 76w11
• 44n03, 71w03
• 44n06, 70w13

We?re walking down the hallway. It?s never really dirty, but no one ever seems to clean it. Deirdre says that maybe they clean it after we leave and go home. But I say that there?s never even a chance for it to get dirty. If anything, it looks cleaner at the end of the day than at the beginning. Marty says maybe you?re projecting again. I say maybe I am.