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My initial last-day-of-the-year post idea was to do something clever, but not too clever—like, for instance, 365 links, or things, etc. Something amusing, but not too thorough (no diatribes, essays, etc.—not that they tend to show up here anyway). Something light.

Then I realized that 365 of anything is a lot.

And that’s when I realized that 2004 was a leap year, and gave up on the whole thing.

Happy new year, everybody.

(P.S. - if you haven’t had time to make up resolutions of your own–and who has?–you can check out the 10 Most Common New Year Resolutions and adopt them as your own.)

Science News has a list of the “most compelling” stories as selected by its writers; some of the articles are available free (look for the asterisks), though most aren’t.

(via BoingBoing)

Even hand-selected lists of headlines are going to occasionally tread into the absurdity zone, but this is particularly galling:

Note the major headline and then compare it to the second item in the bulleted list.

In what world are the deaths of “dozens” of tourists in any way comparable to 22,000 deaths? No one expects headlines to set the standard for commensurability, but dozens and 22,000?

Update:

(Note: the screenshots are from Yahoo’s front page)

Via AFP, Yahoo! has a summary of offbeat stories from 2004. Go; read and be merry.

Imagine roaming the world’s largest ocean year after year alone, calling out with the regularity of a metronome, and hearing no response.

Such, apparently, is the situation faced by a solitary whale, species unknown, that has been tracked since 1992 in the North Pacific by a classified array of hydrophones used by the Navy to monitor enemy submarines.

…

Its sonic signature is clearly that of a whale, but nothing like the normal voice of the giant blue or the next biggest species, the fin, or any other whale for that matter, said Mary Ann Daher, a marine biologist at the Woods Hole Oceanographic Institution on Cape Cod.

(NYT: “Song of the Sea, a Cappella and Unanswered,” by Andrew Revkin [December 21, 2004])

This would be utterly laughable, if not for the fact that it’s, what’s the word, frightening?

Somewhere in the world, there’s a navy blue suitcase with a small pack of explosives tucked in its side pocket.

Four days after police at Charles de Gaulle Airport slipped some plastic explosives into a random passenger’s bag as part of an exercise for sniffer dogs, it is still missing—and authorities are stumped and embarrassed.

As Bruce Schneier notes, it’s reasonable for authorities to plant real plastic explosives in a test of airport security, but it is completely ridiculous for the “plant” to be an innocent, random bystander.

Unfortunately, it shouldn’t take any kind of security expert to figure this out.

I’m all for suspense, but ladies and gents, let’s keep it in the movies.

(via Schneier on Security: “How Not to Test Airport Security” [December 20, 2004]; MSNBC/AP: “A police exercise with the stuff of mystery” [December 7, 2004])

Are you fed up with bringing bananas to work or school only to find them bruised and squashed?

Yes!!!

Our unique, patented device allows for the safe transport and storage of individual bananas letting you enjoy perfect bananas anytime, anywhere.

At long last. About time, I say.

(via BoingBoing)

Looking for Alaska
by John Green

Looking For Alaska is apparently a young adult book. That I had no idea of this fact until I checked some of the book’s details on Amazon is perhaps testament to the quality of the book, or to my own idiocy. As usual, the answer probably lies somewhere in between.

Looking For Alaska is a kind of coming-of-age story and existential dilemma that concerns Miles Halter leaving home for boarding school. Almost immediately upon arriving, Miles falls into the right (or wrong) crowd of characters; luckily for you, he and his newfound friends have just the right chemistry, and their rants, antics, and surprisingly intelligent philosophical discussions carry the first half of the novel.

Note that I said “first half.”

Sadly, when their focus changes in the second half, the novel suffers. Which is unfortunate, given that the first half essentially sets the stage for the second half. And that the book is based on the supposition that the questions raised in the second half are worth chasing.

A paradox, yes. But not one you need to resolve in order to like (or dislike) the book.

The writing itself is good, and the characters, if a little ahead of their time, are at least portrayed consistently. (You may or may not find them convincing boarding school students.) They all have interesting quirks—Miles is obsessed with last words, for instance—and are sympathetic sorts of people, despite their many flaws.

This, in a way, is a good description of the novel itself: a sympathetic sort of book, despite its many flaws.

Good stuff, for a debut novel.

Pages: 1 2

Despite minimal oversight, now the Pentagon apparently feels it is too constrained by its existing environmental responsibilities. Lovely.

The Pentagon is becoming a cold, calculating beast.

Oh, er…

Never mind.

(truthout: “Pentagon to Jettison Environmental Responsibilities” [December 14, 2004], via Planetizen)

I don’t have much in the way of an opinion regarding Tom Wolfe, but I have absolutely no desire to sample any of his writing.

This certainly isn’t about to change my mind.

(Guardian: “Wolfe scoops Bad Sex award,” by Michelle Pauli [December 14, 2004])

Ballad of the Whiskey Robber
by Julian Rubinstein

Attila Ambrus is king. True, he may not do so well with relationships. And his hockey goalie skills may leave much to be desired (though not his dedication), and he may have something of a compulsive personality when it comes to drinking and gambling.

But when it comes to robbery, he is the indisputable king.

(In Hungary in the 1990s, anyway.)

Ballad of the Whiskey Robber¹ is one of the best non-fiction books I’ve read. Ever. Hands down. In fact, it’s one of the best non-fiction books I will ever read—it’s that good. By some outrageous fluke, Ballad marries truly excellent writing (that of Julian Rubinstein) to an outstanding true story (that of Whiskey Robber Attila Ambrus), a phenomenon that happens all too rarely.

Trying to find his way in the world and piece together a living, Attila Ambrus stumbles upon the fact that his quick mind is suited perfectly to robbing banks and post offices.

The story—by which I mean the true life story, i.e., the story on which the book is based—is itself nearly impossible to believe. When I say “nearly,” just think: impossible. At numerous points throught the book, I honestly turned back to the front cover to double check the whole “TRUE STORY” part, because I couldn’t believe it.

Everything fits together perfectly.

Mostly.

Julian Rubinstein is an excellent storyteller, and Attila Ambrus is a perfect story-maker.

This is a book that you must read.

Now.

Notes:
¹ full title: “Ballad of the Whiskey Robber: A true story of bank heists, ice hockey, Transylvanian pelt smuggling, moonlighting detectives, and broken hearts”

The nifty little link-log to the right will be (has been) retired. In its place you will find a similar list, the difference being that this new list is generated by something called Furl.

I’ll keep this short and sweet because, let’s face it, you don’t come here to stay up-to-date with the goings on of technology. There are probably like newspapers, or magazines, or whatsits—websites?—for that sort of thing.

But I think Furl is great. It lets you (yes, you!) archive any page on the web. Once archived, these pages can be instantly recalled by searching your own personal archive; you can at a later date recall the content of pages you’ve saved, a feature that’s absolutely fantastic for, e.g., newspaper articles and other such things that become inaccessible after a period of time.

Isn’t that incredible? Admittedly, the same thing can be accomplished by hitting “save”, but Furl has the advantage of being centralized, readily searchable, and tremendously user-friendly.

There are also a bunch of other features too. You can probably find out about them yourself.

Three hooded bandits in eastern Australia bungled a would-be robbery when they apparently mistook a restaurant’s sliding door for a swinging one, police said.

(AP: “Eatery’s sliding door foils would-be bandits”)

When you read the SEC filings as regularly as I do, you come across all sorts of crazy names that companies use to describe various payments to top executives. But last week, I stumbled across a new one: a death retention bonus. Retention bonuses, which have become increasingly popular, are theoretically used to keep an executive in his or her job once the company is acquired or a new management team comes on board. The key to the bonus is that the employee is usually required to continue showing up for work in order to collect. But that’s a bit difficult to do when someone is, say, six feet underground. Still, that didn’t stop Furniture Brands International (FBN) , manufacturers of such furniture brand names as Broyhill and Thomasville, from taking a creative spin on deferred compensation by creating what it calls a “death retention bonus” for its top three employees. In a recent 8-K, the company noted that it had agreed to provide such bonuses to President John Foy, senior vice president Lynn Chipperfield and Broyhill president and CEO Dennis Burgette. Though the filing makes note of a dollar amount in Schedule A, the schedule was not included in the recent filing, so it’s hard to figure out how much death is worth to the three execs. But there’s no faking death just to collect. Under the terms of the agreement, beneficiaries must present proof of death in order to collect their money.

(via Michelle Leder’s Footnoted.org)

Fish falling from the sky you read about in those Unexplained books, that series from Time Magazine or whatever; you read about fish falling from the sky in anecdotal morsels, not really translating the thought into meaningful expectation. Like: sure, fish fell from the sky in 1863 in Nowheresville, ND, but the idiots probably knocked over a ladder that had a pail of fish on it and didn’t know any better. Like, “Oh, fish rain!” But then it happens to you.

It wasn’t exactly the perfect getaway vehicle. A man took off on a lawnmower moments after he allegedly threw two Molotov cocktails at his ex-girlfriend’s apartment building, police said. He was arrested Saturday night after a brief, slow-speed chase.

(AP: “Lawnmower-Riding Man Captured After Chase” [December 7, 2004])

1 Mother
2 Passion
3 Smile
4 Love
5 Eternity
6 Fantastic
7 Destiny
8 Freedom
9 Liberty
10 Tranquillity
11 Peace
12 Blossom
13 Sunshine
14 Sweetheart
15 Gorgeous
16 Cherish
17 Enthusiasm
18 Hope
19 Grace
20 Rainbow
21 Blue
22 Sunflower
23 Twinkle
24 Serendipity
25 Bliss
26 Lullaby
27 Sophisticated
28 Renaissance
29 Cute
30 Cosy
31 Butterfly
32 Galaxy
33 Hilarious
34 Moment
35 Extravaganza
36 Aqua
37 Sentiment
38 Cosmopolitan
39 Bubble
40 Pumpkin
41 Banana
42 Lollipop
43 If
44 Bumblebee
45 Giggle
46 Paradox
47 Delicacy
48 Peekaboo
49 Umbrella
50 Kangaroo
51 Flabbergasted
52 Hippopotamus
53 Gothic
54 Coconut
55 Smashing
56 Whoops
57 Tickle
58 Loquacious
59 Flip-flop
60 Smithereens
61 Oi
62 Gazebo
63 Hiccup
64 Hodgepodge
65 Shipshape
66 Explosion
67 Fuselage
68 Zing
69 Gum
70 Hen night

(Like any other survey-based list of favo(u)rites, it’s arbitrary, of course. And, yes, meaningless, aside from the meaning these words have to the however many thousands of people submitted their favorites. Together, some of the words are delicious surprises. I am a flabbergasted hippopotamus.)

(Guardian: “Mother’s the word,” by David Ward [November 25, 2004])

The Public Library of Science (PLoS) is a non-profit organization of scientists and physicians committed to making the world’s scientific and medical literature a freely available public resource.

How long does it take for the Earth to go around the Sun: one day, one month, or one year?

On a science literacy survey of 1574 adults, 54% answered this question correctly.

But don’t worry—this number jumped to a whopping 66% when it included only those who considered themselves part of an attentive public, i.e., people very interested in the subject who incidentally consider themselves very well informed and happen to be regular readers of (e.g.) a newspaper or national magazine.

(NSF survey PDF via Political Animal)

• Prisons are America’s “primary supplier of mental-health services.”¹
• Make a face. Change it. Craft your new identity. Morphases.²
• Dolphins and humans are fairly similar, brain-wise.³
• Struwwelpeter/Shockheaded Peter, online.⁴
• Tired of original speech? Cliche Finder to the rescue.⁵
• “I think that it could be done.”⁶
• Send me your brains. Sterling Courier Systems, please.⁷
• They have a list. They’re checking it twice.⁸
• Woobie: feel the warmth.⁹
• This is now. 10×10.¹⁰

Sources & additional commentary-type crap:

1. NYT: “A Death in the Box,” by Mary Beth Pfeiffer [October 31, 2004] - Above and beyond this startling factoid, the article is worth a read. While it approaches the subject through the story of one woman, it is by no means a straightforward case-study/human interest type article.
2. Morphases - Go see it—you get to play with faces; it’s fun. (Though shouldn’t that be Morfaces?)
3. Science Blog: “Humans and dolphins: If brain size is a measure, we’re not that different” - Human brains are 7 times larger than you’d expect, based on comparisons to similar-sized animals. For dolphins, it’s 5 times.
4. with pictures, and English translations alongside the original German. Good fun. (link via MeFi)
5. type in a word, find cliched substitutions.
6. CalTech News: “The End of the Age of Oil,” by David Goodstein - adapted from talk
7. Actually, don’t send me your brain. But feel free to check out the New York Brain Bank’s recommended procedure for packing and sending a fresh brain. And yes, the instructions do say “fresh” brain. That’s what the Ziploc bags are for, I guess—keeping the brain(s) fresh. Mmm. Fresh brain. (link via BoingBoing)
8. NYT: “What Wal-Mart Knows About Customers’ Habits,” by Constance Hays [November 14, 2004] - As a matter-of-fact, it’s a database. And Wal-Mart’s checking it waaay more than twice.
9. Double-Tongued Word Wrester defines “woobie” as
   

   a security blanket; a blankie; a favorite toy or object. Also wooby.

10. The pictures that define the times.