Three-year-old Robert Moore went fishing for a stuffed replica of Sponge Bob and ended up trapped in a vending machine.

…

A stuffed Sponge Bob in a vending machine’s bin caught Robert’s eye. He tried without success to fish it out with a plastic crane.  “I told him I could get it for him,” his grandmother said. “He’s a character. He said, ‘Oh no, I can get it.’” When she turned her back to get another dollar for a second try, Robert took off his coat and squeezed through an opening in the machine. He landed in the stuffed animal cube.  “I turned around and looked for him, and he said, ‘Oma, I’m in here,” Bierdemann said. “I thought I would have a heart attack.”

And in the end… he didn’t even get the stuffed Sponge Bob.

(AP/Mercury News: “Toddler gets stuck in vending machine.” [Oct 24, 2006])

Pretty much by definition, freak accidents don’t happen every day. Particularly freak accidents involving exploding vending machines that expel poisonous gas.

Yes, freak accidents involving exploding vending machines that happen, through the wonders of happy coincidence, to produce something like phosgene gas (used in WWI as a chemical warfare agent)—these aren’t things that happen every day.

But, you know. They happen. Not very often, but they happen.

Exploding vending machines—these are things we have to live with.

“The vending machine I was working on…”
“Yes?”
“Well, there’s a problem.”
“What’s that?”
“It exploded.”
“Exploded?”
“Not the whole thing, of course. Not a violent explosion or anything, just a minor internal explosion. A small fire.”
“Well, are you okay?”
“I think so. I’m a little dizzy, though.”
“Dizzy? Do you need to sit down?”
“Maybe.”
“Is the machine still on fire?”
“Oh… right. I… I don’t think so. …I—”
“Yes?”
“My throat burns, just a little bit.”
“Why don’t you sit down.”
“I don’t feel so well.”
“Good God, man… I think you’ve been exposed to phosgene gas.”
“But… how?”
“You see, when the fire contacted the freon from the cooling system, it must have somehow, through the wonders of chemistry, transformed it into phosgene.”
“My vision’s a little blurry.”
“We’ve got to evacuate.”
“Before it’s too late.”

(Reuters: “Here’s Something That Doesn’t Happen Every Day…” [June 25, 2004])