(2000) dir. Ryuhei Kitamura - w/ Tak Sakaguchi as Prisoner KSC2-303, and a bunch of other folks as random, ominous-sounding figures (e.g., “Motorcycle-riding yakuza with revolver,” and “Yakuza zombie in alligator-skin coat”). But you didn’t watch this for the characters. Yet.

Synopsis: Really?  Synopsis?

Review: Open with a bunch of– Oh, come off it.  The plot doesn’t really matter that much.  I mean, there is a plot.  Kind of.  The kind of plot you’d get by taking a “choose your own adventure” book and putting it in a blender and adding glue.  I’m not saying it’s total chance when parts of the movie actually make sense.  But seriously.  Think Kill Bill plus Highlander plus The Evil Dead plus The Matrix, minus the high production values (compared to this movie, Eraserhead has high production values).  The backstory: a couple “escaped prisoners” meet some Yakuza in the Resurrection Forest for some unspecified plot, which really doesn’t matter.  The Yakuza thugs don’t actually want to do what they’re told, some folks are shot/decapitated/etc.–and then, surprise!, come back to life.  A real shocker, what with it being the Resurrection Forest or what-have-you.  People run around, shoot at one another, fight zombies, and so on.  You can tell things get serious when the filters go wonky.  Everything goes red, or pink.  It’s like they’re in an alternate past dimension, maybe.  I don’t actually know.  What’s most astonishing is that, when there are flashbacks, they kind of help the story.  Sorry, the “story.”  Oh, and the plot twists!  Well, you’d be surprised, if you could actually follow the plot.  Which–you can follow the plot, it just doesn’t make all that much sense.  But it’s all in good fun.  And it is good fun.  You’ve never seen a collapsible samurai sword?  Or one with a laser sight?

Rating: [•••] out of [•••••] (Rating a movie like this is difficult.  Mileage per star may vary, based on your personal preferences, i.e., how much entertainment value you can actually derive from this kind of thing.)

(2005) dir Cristi Puiu - w/ Ion Fiscuteanu as the eponymous Lazarescu, and a few other people, hospitals.

Synopsis: Mr. Lazarescu feels unwell, and calls an ambulance.  His neighbors harangue him for drinking, his family doesn’t want much to do with him, and various doctors, nurses, and EMTs (their Romanian equivalents, anyway) poke fun and insult him.  The plot is both incredibly straightforward, and not.

Review: Given the title and synopsis, you’d expect this to be a depressing move–and you’d be right.  You’d also expect it to be slow, and you might be wrong.  “The Death of Mr. Lazarescu” is meandering but methodical: not plodding, exactly, but certainly not speedy.  It is difficult to watch at parts, and bleak, and wrenching, but somehow also wry, and knowing, and rarely long.

I can’t entirely explain what makes this movie compelling.  There are brief glimmers of humanity, but they’re very often quashed by selfishness and indifference.  People are in a hurry.  They’re tired of being told things by others.  They don’t want other people to tell them what their jobs are, and they’re tired; it’s late.  And the old man probably just wants attention, they reason.  Stop drinking.  Don’t be so sick.  Get rid of that cat, why don’t you?  There is no good or evil in this story.  If there is any kind of hope, it surfaces in the most unlikely, unfulfillable ways.

Rating: [••••] out of [•••••]