America’s Ketchup

W KetchupYou think it’s a joke. The first words you read on the page are,

You don’t support Democrats.

Why should your ketchup?

and you figure, it has to be a joke, right? You see a picture of a ketchup bottle (right) with the words “America’s Ketchup” emblazoned across it, and you figure, it has to be a joke.

You glance over the comments section, where there’s a place for comments on the right and a place for comments on the left, and you can’t reasonably see how W Ketchup is anything but a joke. The fact that it’s a joke, you reason, has to be intentional. Right?

Comments like “You’re not only tasteless, you a##holes are stupid!” on the left and “Thanks for filling the ketchup void for us patriots!! Great label, too!” on the right, and it seems literally impossible that this is anything but a joke. Everything fits into an almost perfect stereotype—one that’s too perfect, in fact. So you think, is this a joke? Is it?

Probably not, is my own personal belief, against my greatest hopes and dreams; it seems, ladies and gents, that W Ketchup, with its encomium for Ronald Reagan and its donations to the Freedom Alliance Scholarship Fund, is the real deal.

It’s tongue-in-cheek, yes, but also serious.

Sez W Ketchup(TM):

The leading competitor not only has 57 varieties, but has 57 foreign factories as well. W Ketchup comes in one flavor: American.

What can I say? I’m not going to be buying a case anytime soon, but you’re certainly welcome to if it lights the fire of passion in your heart.

I mean, it’s a free country.

That’s what they say, anyway.